I really don't know how to explain this feeling but I'll try anyway.. :P
Ok! First of all its not about love so stop wasting your time.. :D I am not going to touch that chord so please read on.. :)
Hmm.. The month of May is going on.. If I remember correctly, Last year, around this time I was in Pune sitting in my rented apartment & planning my future.. I was also freaking out a lot that I was about to go jobless & follow a dream.. But I still went on, crawled through the last days came back home to Panchkula on May 26th, Saturday & started freaking out even more, the feeling hadn't sunk in.. And finally when it did I started working towards my dream..
Life dragged on & Bam! May 2013 was here & the situation now is like this, I am a director in a Private Limited Company (Feels awesome!) with limited profit margins but we'll get there.. but why is it a strange feeling? I should be feeling Happy.. Right? To be honest, I am happy.. Very Happy but its just that I expected a little more, I mean you have your targets in your mind, I had them (And honestly my prime target was to come to break-even which we have surpassed) but I also had an "Optimal" target which has not been achieved properly..But I know we are almost there :) .."Raise the bar" is what they teach you.. And I took it pretty seriously :D I know We are doing Great! :)
I have freaked out a couple of times revisiting my last day at Infy and thinking "Have I made the right choice?" . Life is so full of tension & stress.. is it? Or is it just me taking it unnecessarily, My doc tells me that In your work you shouldn't work beyond your capacity, this increases stress.. I don't know about working beyond capacity but I am surely thinking beyond capacity, about all the utterly useless stuff..that what now? Where to now? How to expand? How much to earn?..
I wish Life was a little easier with no questions.. If questions weren't enough, there was another element.. Peer/family/neighbour etc pressure... Even though nobody is asking what your son does? But I still have these thoughts in my mind where I think.. Am I doing the right thing by not jumping into MBA, high paying job & all that shit.. And the moment you see your parents & friends talking about someone getting a job in XYZ company at a package that boggles the mind, you think to your self & say it to yourself.. Bloody hell! I have my own company.. Why should I care?
But actually we do.. We all do.. & I think this feeling should never be there.. And today I plan to get rid of all that & start enjoying my life & work like I have been working for the past 10 months, We will soon start expanding & may be after 3 years you will get to read in the papers about me..Its not a bad thing to imagine all this.. We should all have dreams (Achievable or not) :D hehe!
One thing is for sure..I will always have faith in myself & the almighty...
So Screw this strange feeling.. I am going back to work.. :)
To all the readers.. This is the time to follow your dream.. don't let some stupid feeling/emotion get in your way.. :P